It's days like today that I envision myself packing a bag and catching the first bus out of town. I think if it weren't for my boys, I could. I know that sounds awful, it sounds awful to me! I just can't do this anymore.
I can't take the rages.
I can't take the ups and downs. I hate seeing her happy as a clam one moment and a evil monster spewing obscenities, clawing and growling the next.
She is obnoxious and difficult to control. An example: She picked up a heavy metal chair and launched it across the room at me! She's just 6 so the chair didn't go very far, but what am I going to do in 2, 4, 6 years??? She is only going to get worse and more difficult, if not impossible to handle by myself. Damage control will be much more difficult.
I said a prayer today during her rage: "Thank you God that she is the youngest!" I can't imaging having younger children around that I would have to keep safe from her.
We started a new medication on Friday. A mood stabilizer called Trileptal. Could this be the result of that change???? I was assured it was very rare to cause these kinds of problems. We were told "Either it would work, or we wouldn't see any changes at all".
I'm just not buying it.
