6 year olds don't need Psychotropic Medications

...unfortunately,  this isn't a fairytale and some 6 yr olds do.

I believe the Celexa is finally out of her system now (after going off it cold turkey 7 days ago) and we can clearly see the difference between her with and without it.  Neither one is very pleasant.

Without the Celexa:  We have "Black Cloud" girl.  She is very dark and moody.  Extremely irritable.  Anyone who looks at her is sure to get screamed at.  The entire family walks on eggshells around her so as not to set her off almost as if she is a ticking time bomb.  Frequent, severe rages and very impulsive.

With the Celexa:  We have "Crazy Hyper" girl.  Bouncing from one wall to the next.  Cannot sit still.  Racing thoughts; cannot stop talking.  Cannot sleep.  She definitely seems happier, but it's way over the top!!  The Psychiatrist (Pdoc) thinks this was actually signs of Mania or Hypomania, thus why she had us take her off of it immediately. Kit will likely have a Bipolar dx in the future like her birthmom- though we're not ready to go there just yet.

Now that we have "Black Cloud" girl back, I am even more convinced that no amount of good parenting or special classes are going to help our child.  I'm starting to really feel like we're doing the right thing.  I mean, if your child has Asthma you wouldn't hesitate to treat them with medication right!?  My child has a mental illness (and likely FASD) and if she requires medications to help her function then who am I to deny that? 

*SIGH*...  why am I still battling such an internal war with myself about it!?!?

...there are never horrible, rotten, no good, very bad days.

Today, was one of those days.


I knew from the moment I opened my eyes that it would be based on the high pitched screams coming from the living room.  Yes, by 7am I can usually determine the mood in the air and what our day will likely entail.  I usually put a smile on my face and greet her with happy greetings hoping to turn her mood around, but it never works. Unfortunately.

One of my boys is currently in Physical Therapy twice a week for some pains in his ankles.  I absolutely DREAD taking Kit along.  It is an hour long and she simply c.a.n.n.o.t hold herself together that long.  Unfortunately, today I had no choice.

As we piled out of the car it became clear to me that we were going to have serious issues.  First she refused to get out of the car.  I took her hand and led her out, grabbing her pink princess backpack filled with art supplies and books to help keep her entertained.  She screamed, yanked her arm away, ran to the other side of the car and got back in.  She sat there pouting with her arms folded across her chest.  I knew at that moment it was going to be a battle and I was quite nervous about it because these battles (in parking lots) often lead to her darting off without any hesitation or concern about CARS.  I hesitated, turned and told my son to head on inside.  I knew I would need to tread very carefully here. I leaned into the car, sternly talked to Kit explaining that we needed to inside.  I gave her a choice, asking if she wanted to carry her backpack in or if she wanted me to carry it.  THAT went no where so I changed strategy and tried to bluff her.  I said, I'm going inside.  If you don't come with me, you're going to be in this very hot car all by yourself!  (Disclaimer:  I would never actually leave her in the hot car for any amount of time.)  She didn't take the bait which kind of surprised me and well...to make a very long story short, I basically had to drag her in.


Then I sat there in the waiting room for over an hour while being kicked, pinched and hollered at.  Her opositional behavior was over the top. 


"I'M THIRSTY!  I WANT A DRINK OF WATER!"


me:  I'd be happy to give you a drink of water.  Here.... (unscrewing the cap)


"NO!"


me:  (rescrewing cap)


"I WANT A DRINK!!"


me:  You said you didn't want it!?


"YOU WONT LET ME!"


me:  I'm happy to let you have some.  Here... (unscrewing cap)


"NO!!!!"


You get the picture.  After about 5 minutes of that game I was done.  Of course, anyone that walked in the door after that point probably thinks I'm the worst mom ever for not letting my poor child have a drink of water! 

I'm completely raw by now.  Tears began streaming down my face and I was seriously contemplating what I would do with her.  The Pdoc is out of town for the week, I feel like my hands are tied!



She laid across the couch in the living room and grumpily colored in one of her books.  Her feet kicking at me every so often as if she needed me to know how grumpy she was.  Every time she couldn't find the right color crayon- it was MY fault and she would scream at me.  Once even reached over and slapped at me! 


The tears came flowing some more. A woman sharing the waiting room with us, watched my daughter as if she had 2 heads.  I'm sure she blames me.  I mean, why shouldn't I be able to control a 6 yr old!?!?!


The whole way home I cried silently to myself.  I feel completely helpless when she behaves this way. 

In the land of fairytales...

                                             ...there are only perfect children.

I've always been one of those people who tend to believe that all children could be well behaved if they were just trained right.  It was simple, and all it came down to was parenting.

After all, if parents would just parent, they wouldn't have any problems with their children!  All you have to do is follow through with what you say your going to do, be consistent, firm and loving.

Yep.  In fact, I'll let you in on a little secret.  I used to think ADD should stand for ADULT DISCIPLINE DEFICIENCY.  I truly did.  I'd roll my eyes at the parent being screamed at by their own child.  I couldn't believe some would allow their children to behave the way they did.  "I" would never allow my child to act that way.  Never.

Well, let's just say that outlook changed dramatically as our daughter began to get old enough to walk, talk back and tantrum.  Suddenly and quickly I learned that there are exceptional children that do not fit the same mold.  For some reason, the same parenting techniques that had worked wonderfully for our 3 sons, didn't work with her.  In fact, they didn't even touch the surface!  Nothing we did or said made a difference in her behavior.  No amount of consistency, firmness or love helped us to parent her.  She is a beautiful little girl who happens to be wired completely different.

It was quite painful to realize that I'm "that" parent now.  You know, the one people stare at and judge in the grocery store as she is trying to control her small angelic looking child.  Little do they realize....

I suddenly found myself being a whole lot less judgmental.  No longer do I look down upon and judge every parent struggling to control their child in the store, or restaurant or swimming pool.  Instead I find myself sympathizing with them.  Wondering if perhaps they are going through the same things we are.  Is their child adopted?  Are they struggling with possible mental illness or fetal alcohol spectrum disorders too?  Have they pulled all of the tricks out of the bag and yet come out feeling helpless and hopeless like we do?