Sunday, July 24, 2011

In the land of fairytales...

                                             ...there are only perfect children.

I've always been one of those people who tend to believe that all children could be well behaved if they were just trained right.  It was simple, and all it came down to was parenting.

After all, if parents would just parent, they wouldn't have any problems with their children!  All you have to do is follow through with what you say your going to do, be consistent, firm and loving.

Yep.  In fact, I'll let you in on a little secret.  I used to think ADD should stand for ADULT DISCIPLINE DEFICIENCY.  I truly did.  I'd roll my eyes at the parent being screamed at by their own child.  I couldn't believe some would allow their children to behave the way they did.  "I" would never allow my child to act that way.  Never.

Well, let's just say that outlook changed dramatically as our daughter began to get old enough to walk, talk back and tantrum.  Suddenly and quickly I learned that there are exceptional children that do not fit the same mold.  For some reason, the same parenting techniques that had worked wonderfully for our 3 sons, didn't work with her.  In fact, they didn't even touch the surface!  Nothing we did or said made a difference in her behavior.  No amount of consistency, firmness or love helped us to parent her.  She is a beautiful little girl who happens to be wired completely different.

It was quite painful to realize that I'm "that" parent now.  You know, the one people stare at and judge in the grocery store as she is trying to control her small angelic looking child.  Little do they realize....

I suddenly found myself being a whole lot less judgmental.  No longer do I look down upon and judge every parent struggling to control their child in the store, or restaurant or swimming pool.  Instead I find myself sympathizing with them.  Wondering if perhaps they are going through the same things we are.  Is their child adopted?  Are they struggling with possible mental illness or fetal alcohol spectrum disorders too?  Have they pulled all of the tricks out of the bag and yet come out feeling helpless and hopeless like we do?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Mo4,
    I know exactly what you mean about being less judgmental. I just wish there was a way to spray "less judgmental juice" on everyone. ;) (without them having to go through the experiences we have with complex children.)

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